When we had our first child, it was an extreme pleasure to be a parent. He was quiet, non-demanding, sweet, extremely intelligent, non-invasive, in all, a dream baby! He even started to read when he was just over a year! It was fantastic! What more could we have asked for? We thought ourselves so lucky and beyond that, we had a sense of pride that we were bringing up such a well-behaved child. Friends and relatives would compliment us on being such good parents(some were even envious!) Apart from a few health-related and feeding-time hitches now and then, it was all good. And we were convinced that we were doing a wonderful job. And then, we decided to have another baby, fully confident that we would be brilliant this time around as well.
And lo, and behold, when our first son was 3 years and 8 months old, our second child was born. And life as we knew it, completely changed! We felt that we had been tossed onto a roller-coaster and someone had forgotten to turn it off! We were the same people, the same house, the same gene-pool, the same rules, even the same food, but this child was completely different! He was an angel to look at, but there the angelic facade ended! He had a mind of his own, very strong personality, and was a master of tantrums to get his own way! To say the least, it was a shock! We were completely baffled and tried everything we knew to deal with this. But he just would not back down.
It has been a long journey from then to now, when he is 5 years old. I've learned the most in these five years, and my growth has been very fast-paced and comprehensive. In other words, I've had to grow up in a lot of ways, face my faults and shortcomings, and I've had to learn to rise above those to be the best mother I can be to him, as I have been to my older son. The demands have changed, the parameters are different, the policies have had to be revised, the actions and reactions been scrutinized and adjusted. In short, we have learned a very valuable lesson (albeit the hard way!), that our children are born to us for a purpose. They are what they are, because we need to be what we are meant to be. We need to fulfill our purpose in life, and who does it better than our children, who make us look at ourselves in a new way, they teach us to re-examine and analyze ourselves. We can be anything in the eyes of the world, but we are made to face our deepest, darkest fears and shortcomings when we become parents. We are faced with serious responsibility and decision-making, and our patience, tolerance, kindness and compassion is severely tested!
Our children teach us things that maybe, our parents did not, or we did not want to learn as children. They are here, because a few of the greatest lessons we will ever learn will be through them. We participate in the miracle of their birth, and from then on, our hearts become their school-rooms. We become their teachers and guardians. We are challenged everyday in every which way, and we learn to rise above ourselves and make every moment worthwhile. And even while teaching them how to be responsible adults, we learn the same things along the way.
I once read somewhere, “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” Oh! What a blessing my son has been! I know I'm that much better for I have him in my life. All my three children are so different, yet there is so much each one continues to teach me. Let us appreciate the miracle of our children, and feel grateful for all the learning and growth they have brought into our lives.
Here's a little poem for my son.
FOR MEHAR
You enchant me, you intrigue me, you make me oh!so mad!
But in everything that you do, you are the leading lad!
The sun rushes out to greet you, to take a little brightness from you,
For the brightest shining star in the whole universe is you.
I've had my days of doubt, and I've had my days of pain,
But having you, my baby, has never been in vain.
You've taught me to face life head-on,
No matter what happens, just go on!
You've shown me a greater purpose,, you've forced me to face my faults,
I've learned to be aware and present, with your entire army of wants,
I've learned to be humble and grateful, and never to regret,
I've wanted to escape it, but you've taught me, Just Do It!
That quiet charming mischief, that naughty sobriety,
Isn't our life just filled with variety?!
A little bit of this and a whole lot of that,
What are you, my little imp, are you this or are you that?
You look, and the whole world looks at you, your laughter sends out joyous chimes,
This world spins just to make you go around,
And the whole universe is just your merry-go-round!
Your joy spreads like wildfire, your mischief makes us sweat!
Our tired eyes adore you, your sleep brings us blessed rest!
Your conversation flows around us, like falling leaves from trees,
When I bend to pick up one of those, I'm swamped up to my knees!
You laugh, you cry, you jump, you run,
I live a myriad lifetimes, for you it's all just fun!
Each breath I take, you're caught in it, I breathe life that much more,
For you are God's little angel, the one that I adore.
So hush, come, and listen carefully-
From the inside, nourish the outside, from the outside, reap rich rewards,
Heaven and earth are waiting to shower you,
With the knowledge you go towards.
Your life will be rich and fulfilling, I see that promise and strength in you,
Our love-filled heartbeats bless you always, and your troubles will be few.
Grow in Love, Peace and Gratitude, good to all and for all, let this be your attitude!
Shine like the sun and glow like the moon, for you are MEHAR,
For this world you are a Boon!
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